Plight of Wei Yan
by KurenaiKami
Summary: A man recounts his loneliest and most heartbreaking moments in life. WYxYY, WYxLB
1. Chapter 1

Well, first of all, I guess I have to mention that I do not own Dynasty Warriors nor am I involved with Koei; I just play their games, people. Second, this is the first chapter (obviously). I wrote this baby when I was 15 so there are some big differences between the first and second in terms of grammar, plot development, emotion, and length. I'm too lazy to go back and update this chapter. Just read it and take it as is :D Also, feel free to leave a review!

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I am Wenchang, more commonly known as Wei Yan. Are you surprised? Most people are when they find out that I am literate. Just because I am not very articulate when I speak does not mean that I cannot string a decent sentence together. Is it my fault that I like to keep my statements and responses to the point? Hardly, but that is a story for another day…

This is the story that will serve as proof of my intelligence and "human-like qualities" when I have passed on. Here you will see the abuse, mentally and physically, that I endure. You will experience my heartache, suppressed rage, and overall daily life, starting with the announcement of Yue Ying's pregnancy.

My morning started out normally enough. I woke up, shredded my loincloths a bit, and picked out my mask for the day. The mask I had selected was one that I rather liked. It was gold with black stripes and was formed with a very large feline mold, in order to resemble the face of a tiger. Liu Bei gave that mask to me, in order to memorialize my place among the Tiger Generals. Liu Bei has always been so good to me. Perhaps he is my only true friend here, besides the Lady Ying.

When I was finished preparing for my day, I ventured outside of my quarters and made my way towards the mess hall. On my way, I ran into my Lord. He was returning from battle demonstrations with the new recruits. I could not help but notice how his bun had lost its usual form and how his face was practically dripping with sweat. He wore the expression of a man who was spreading himself too thin. Oh, how hard my lord works…

Upon recognizing me, Liu Bei's face lit up. His jaw, held tight with his frustration and worries, immediately relaxed as it broke into a smile.

"Wei Yan," my Lord called out, "how are you this morning?" I became aware of the fact that as he waited for my slow, barely coherent reply, his gaze was fixed on my mask. Inwardly, I smiled. It was nice to know that my mask had sentimental value to him too.

"Me…Fine…You?" As my raspy reply emitted, I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. My voice and manner of speaking have always embarrassed me, but it seemed ten times worse whenever my Lord was around.

He chuckled for some reason and was about to say something when someone nearby cleared his or her throat. We both turned to meet the voices' owner, but I found myself utterly disgusted when I saw Zhuge Liang a few feet away from us. He fanned himself slowly with his usual malevolent smile plastered on his face.

"My lord," he said with a bow, "Will you be joining my wife and I for a tactical meeting?" He regarded me with a simple glance then returned to waiting for our Lord's response. Liu Bei wiped the sweat from his brow before answering.

"Yes, I'll be attending." he said simply. Liang bowed once more without a word and took his leave. My Lord turned to me once more and flashed a warm smile. "If you'll excuse me, I'm in dire need of a bath." I giggled, or attempted to anyway, as he turned to retire to his quarters. I began walking away too. "Oh, Yan!" I heard him shout out. I turned around, momentarily ignoring the fact that he had addressed me in a friendly way. "The Prime Minister and his wife will be announcing something very special tonight. I hope to see you there." As he finished, I thought I saw him wink at me. To avoid further shame, I just nodded to confirm my attendance. He nodded in return and continued his march to his room. When I thought about it later, I came to the conclusion that my Lord had had some sweat in his eye and it had caused him to look like he was winking.

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I love Liu Bei. There, I said it. Actually I wrote it, but it doesn't matter. Since the moment I first spoke to him, I felt something in my heart tell me that he would be special to me, though I didn't know it at the time. And I was right. But he knows not of my feelings. He also has no clue about my body's needs and wants. I have spent many a night fondling myself, sobbing lightly, just wishing that he were the one touching me. I have longed for a human touch ever since…

The time to reminisce will come. I must tell about Zhuge Liang and Yue Ying's "special announcement."

The meeting was for generals only, but even still, Master Liang and Lady Ying had laid out quite a feast for the few of us. We all ate more than our fill and there was still enough for us to take home to our families…well, everyone else's families at least. Jugs of wine were passed around frequently due to Zhang Fei's inability to say "when." I had decided to drink only a bit, lest I do something that I would regret later.

Zhuge Liang and Lady Ying's table was placed a few feet in front of the Tiger Generals' table. To the left of Yue Ying, Liu Bei sat. We exchanged glances and polite smiles over the course of dinner. I also looked at Lady Ying. She looked as radiant as always, but something about her seemed…different. Liang also caught my eye once. He flashed me a fake grin and raised his glass of milk to me before rising. The room quieted.

"My wife and I thank you all for lending us your time. We've requested your presence here for one simple reason: To announce that Huang Yue Ying, my wife, is pregnant." The room erupted into gasps and congratulatory murmurs before fading into applause. Lady Ying nodded at people and smiled, but the way she bit her lip and shot me a worried glance let me know: She was pregnant with my baby. I nodded.

I had stood to leave, but felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. I turned to see the reddened face of Guan Yu. Without a word, I settled back into my seat. Yu leaned down and whispered, "You must endure the length of the party. Master Liang wishes to speak to you afterwards." I nodded once more.

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The rest of the meeting that turned into a party was pretty uneventful. Cake was served and we watched Zhuge Liang and Lady Ying dance. For the remainder of it, I ignored my Lord for once and focused my attention on Liang. What could he possibly want with me? I knew it was something that involved Lady Ying, but he could not possibly know about me impregnating her, could he?


	2. Chapter 2

And this is the second installment. I think it's waaaaaay better than the first, but if anyone disagrees please let me know why. Anyway, it took me a year or more (off and on, mostly off) to finish this chapter, so I wouldn't be expecting the 3rd anytime soon if I were you. But, I'm not, so do what you want. AND, AGAIN, I SAY: Please review!

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After the last few generals left the room, bringing the party to an end, Zhuge Liang took me to a much more secluded area. The minute that I crossed the threshold, Guan Yu appeared and forced me into a chair. He left, closing the door behind him, and Liang took his place. The room was completely silent, except for the low swooshing of Liang's fan. Minutes passed before he began speaking in a harsh whisper.

His tone was so hushed that I had a very hard time understanding him. The only time that he raised his voice was when he said his wife's name. As his murmured monologue continued, I lost interest. My mind wandered back to the startling revelation of a few hours before. I was utterly ecstatic to have Yue Ying be pregnant with my child.

I know that I have been going on about Liu Bei, but my infatuation with him has only lasted a few months. There was a time when Wei Yan had feelings for another person and, of course, it was Yue Ying. How did this come about you may ask? It is a simple story:

When Liu Biao died, I was left without a kingdom to serve. Desperate for a place to go, I joined Han Xuan's ranks. I immensely disliked serving him and ended up beheading him after a dispute over Huang Zhong. After that, Zhong and I were invited to join Shu. Shu's generals had many great tales surrounding them and a brief encounter I had had with Liu Bei a while back left me impressed, so being asked to join them all was an honor.

Upon declaring my allegiance to Shu, most of the kingdom welcomed me with open arms. However, Zhuge Liang, Shu's renowned strategist, doubted me for some reason and began planting his seeds of distrust all over. As quickly as everyone had accepted me, most of them dropped me just as hurriedly. To this day, I still have no idea of what Zhuge Liang said about me to others, but I do know that it was enough to make them hate me. Many attempts on my life were made, and those who did not try to kill me tried to break my spirit. They had succeeded for the most part, and I began to consider joining the ranks of Wei, another kingdom that had impressed me with their skilled warriors. Unfortunately, before I got the chance to leave, a 17th attempt on my life left me with near-fatal wounds. That had been the last straw for Zhuge Liang's wife, Huang Yue Ying, and she began setting out to prove to everyone that I had no malicious intent behind pledging my allegiance to the kingdom of Shu.

It started with putting me on the frontlines when we went into battle. She was hoping that my prowess on the battlefield would win over those that doubted me. Nearly everyone else was hoping that I would be killed as we fought. Of course, there were no disputes from either side when it came to putting me there. Fortunately for Yue Ying and myself, her plan worked out and people started to see that every blow I dealt was for Shu. The more battles that I helped to win, the more people trusted me and respected me…except for Zhuge Liang, of course.

Once the death threats and defamation of my character decreased, Yue Ying began spending time with me. At first, I thought it was a ruse that Shu's council had created to acquire more information about me and use it for their own cruel purposes, so I was careful with what I told her in the beginning. But the more we spoke, I noticed that mention of my previous war exploits never came up, and that, Lady Ying was very open with her personal life. So, I started to open up and, naturally, we grew closer. We found that we had a lot in common and spent hours discussing various topics. Soon, we were setting up late night meetings and conversing until the early morn. And after we had finally gone to bed, we would wake up and spend the day together and then the cycle would repeat.

Alas, during this time, Zhuge Liang's jealous side took over and he began to punish her for spending time with me. Apparently, he had been abusing her for a while, but I never found out until one evening in particular:

Lady Ying and I had set another late night meeting (this time we were to meet at a secluded pond that we discovered earlier that year), and I had arrived early. I had taken that extra time to gaze at the moon. At some point, my thoughts took over and I zoned out for what could have been hours. The sound of rustling foliage brought me back. I turned to see who or what was coming, and was relieved when I saw Lady Ying emerge. Immediately, I rushed to greet her.

I approached her and grabbed her small hands, told her that I was glad that she was able to attend this meeting. But, she shook herself free of my hold and turned away from me. Sensing that something was wrong, I put myself back in her range of vision and made her look into my eyes. As soon as I lifted her head, the moonlight revealed a large contusion surrounding her left eye. She began speaking very rapidly at that moment, and I had a hard time understanding what she was saying, but the one thing that did stand out were the words: "We are to see each other never again; Master Liang has forbidden it."

After a few more minutes of nonsensical rambling, she started weeping softly. I drew her petite body closer to my own and held her as she cried. As she did so, she began to tell me about her relationship with him. Apparently, he had only married her because she was smart and not the best looking. He wanted a woman that did not attract much attention from other men, and an intelligent one with which to have gifted children. Her father agreed to the union and forced her to marry him, regardless of the fact that they did not love each other. A few months into the marriage, they found out that Zhuge Liang was impotent, and after nearly eleven years of matrimony, she was still a virgin.

It was this declaration of being "untouched" that led her to confess more. She began telling me that the time she spent with me was quite possibly the best time she would ever have. She told me that, even with my impediment, I was able to hold a conversation longer and better than her husband. Then she started going on about how attractive I was, despite the masks that I always wore. At this point, I was unsure of where the discussion was going, so I interrupted her to ask what she meant. She turned to look into my masked eyes and smiled gently.

"Yan," she said, "I guess what I'm trying to say is: In case this is the last time we ever get to speak, I need you to know that I love you. I realize that I've probably created more long-term problems for both of us, but I have absolutely no regrets."

I was taken aback. I never would have thought that a woman such as her would have the slightest interest in me. Quite some time prior to this, I had discovered that I had loved her, but I never said anything, for fear of rejection or destroying her marriage. But since she did not even love him, where was the harm in reciprocating? I drew her into a hug and whispered into her ear, "I love you too."

Again, I was taken aback. There were hardly any awkward pauses when I said it, and my voice did not sound nearly as grotesque as normal. She chuckled and planted a tender kiss on my right cheek. Then, before we parted forever, she allowed me to indulge in my desire.

Up until this point, I had been a virgin as well. I suppose the numerous masks, fiendish voice, and seemingly poor personal hygiene was not what women wanted. However, despite the fact that we were both inexperienced, we hardly behaved like two awkward teenagers. I took her many times in many places that night. I can still feel her petite breasts in my hands; every moan and facial expression has burned itself into my mind as well. She allowed me to taste every inch of her that night.

When the sun rose, she dressed hurriedly and gave me a quick, passionate kiss before walking out of my life forever. I am a man, so I can admit that I cried once she was gone. After that, I dressed and went back to my quarters. I spent hours alone, reliving that evening's events and mulling over my heartbreak. Killing myself just to avoid spending the rest of my life without her seemed like a great idea at the time, but with this baby on the way, I am glad I did not give in, even if I will never get a chance to be a part of the child's life or even meet it. But, back to the main story…

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My visit to the past was interrupted by a thunderous shout. I came back to reality to see Zhuge Liang glaring at me with fire in his eyes…literally. If looks could kill, I should have died right on the spot, and I believe that he really could have killed me if he had truly willed it at that moment. I had always thought that the talk of him having some sort of magical powers were mere myths, but that night, I learned that every ounce of it was anything but false.

He hollered at me for about fifteen minutes – Again, I had no idea what he was saying; he was dreadfully hard to understand when he was wound up – before teleporting toward me and, in one fluid motion, delivering a smack to my left cheek. The blow had been a powerful one; it sent the mask I was wearing, which was strapped to my head, soaring across the room. It struck a wall and shattered instantly.

Almost immediately, as if nothing had happened, all signs of anger disappeared and he began to calmly explain that what I did to his wife was unforgivable. He said that I had dishonored the Kingdom of Shu and "tainted" his bloodline. In order to make things easier for myself in the long run, he suggested that I apologize to him and leave the city of Cheng Du forever. I humbly refused. One should never apologize for love, nor flee from it.

My rejection infuriated him. In reprisal, he slapped my left cheek once more. Following the smack, he swore at me and spat on my face. The milk he had consumed earlier that evening was evident in the consistency of his saliva. It was at this point that I was incredibly glad that I did not drink a large amount of alcohol during the celebration. My intoxicated self surely would have maimed or killed Zhuge Liang for this kind of disrespect. I dared not fight back in my sober state of mind, however. Retaliating would not only have resulted in trouble for myself, but it could have also endangered Yue Ying and our unborn child.

However, I rushed to retrieve the numerous pieces of my mask, in hopes of having it re-assembled later. Zhuge Liang appeared in front of me as I picked up the fragments. He looked into my unmasked eyes and, suddenly, my insides felt as though they were ablaze. I began to scream and shout, clawing at my body, hoping for some type of relief. This went on for countless minutes, but at long last, my savior had finally come…or so I thought.

My pain-filled shrieks must have alerted Guan Yu, who had been standing guard nearby. He entered the room in a panic, his halberd in hand. His raucous entrance broke Zhuge Liang's concentration, so the magic stopped for the moment. Yu and I had always been on good terms. I figured that he would enter, see what this evil man was doing to me, and put an end to it, for the sake of our friendship.

As I regained my breath and tried to relax so that my body could cool, I was shocked as Guan Yu closed the door behind him and walked over to Liang, without so much as a word as to what was going on here. The two of them stared at me, long and hard, for quite a few seconds. As they did so, I began to feel the burning sensation throughout my body once more. Zhuge Liang could sense my pain, I suppose, so he did not pass up the opportunity to make things worse. He ordered Guan Yu to place me back in the chair, bind my limbs, and gag me. At this point, I expected Yu to refuse and give a speech about honor and virtue before leaving and taking me with him, but the God of War obeyed, tying the ropes around my extremities exceptionally tight. I could not understand why Yu was obeying this man's orders. When he finished with my restraints, he moved to stand behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, and the strategist positioned himself directly in front of me.

It was quite apparent that I was not going to apologize or walk away from Shu, yet Zhuge Liang still presented me with one last opportunity to do so. Of course I still declined. Even though he knew I would refuse, he still gasped and placed his fan over his heart as he shot Guan Yu a surprised glance. His eyes came back to me as he knelt by my ear.

"Wei Yan, I like to think of myself as a rather nice fellow. As Shu's best strategist, I am constantly putting my own needs on hold so that I can develop tactics for you simpletons, just so you all may survive another battle. I have made countless sacrifices, yet I never expected any favors in return, even after offering a rather valuable service. All I ever wanted was to be respected. You violated my reputation and my wife, Wei Yan. I should have killed you the moment I found out, but I thought that giving you a fair chance would be a nice thing to do. I gave you two chances and you declined them both. Even after impregnating my wife, you still cannot pass up the chance to disrespect me, can you?

"I knew the moment that you set foot in Cheng Du that you would be nothing but trouble. You act like you are mysterious, a person to be feared and admired, with depth that no one could ever fathom. But, I know the truth: You are nothing but a repulsive, dim-witted, and overall pathetic human being. I can hardly refer to you as such; you are the lowest creature on Earth and you know it. We all see the way that you try to hide behind those masks. You know that you are not hiding anything, correct? We see your face just as clearly as the sky, which is a shame considering how hideous you are. Humans are often ashamed to admit that they are the same species as you, and animals feel the same way when you put on masks that emulate them. I will never understand why Yue Ying chose to have sexual relations with you. I suppose she was just becoming desperate after being unable to snag a halfway decent man that would not mind her unsightliness. But, she got you! A match made in bestial Heaven, is it not?"

His wicked words or his warm, sour breath against my ear and neck: I was not sure which disgusted me the most. I could handle anything that he directed at me; that was not the first time I had been threatened or badmouthed, and I was sure that it would not be the last. However, the insults and threats that he had directed at my child and the woman whom I loved worried me. After being subjected to his supernatural powers, I knew that anything was possible with him. I would take anything that he sent my way, but what about Yue Ying and our baby? I would never be able to get close enough to protect them after this fiasco. I truly felt defeated at that moment. If this man could make me suffer with only his words and get away with it, how much worse would it be when he unleashed his magic and brainless drones upon me and my "family"? I had nothing with which to fight back and he had an endless supply of ammunition. The fact that I was in way over my head was finally beginning to sink in.

As he left my side and returned to his previous location, his speech continued:

"Out of all of the baffling components in this situation, the one that I have the hardest time understanding is why you would betray me after all of the times I saved your life," he sighed. My brow furrowed in confusion. If anything, he was responsible for all of the times that my life was in danger.

"Who do you think it was that got you out of all of those hairy situations in battle?" he asked, "No one but you and your brute strength? I have seen the way you swing your sword when you attack; the chances of you saving your own life are about as great as Zhang Fei staying sober. My brilliant strategies rescued you, and your feeble comrades, for that matter. But, I never got a thank you…not even a simple acknowledgement of my efforts. You never made any attempt to be more cautious the next time; you just kept blindly charging into battle and getting yourself into trouble, forcing me to save you again. And after all I have done for you, after all of the times I gave you another chance at life, look at how I am finally repaid.

"I told Liu Bei that anyone who would behead their own leader was not someone that we should employ, but Mr. Virtue just had to give you a chance. I fought as hard as I could to keep you out of here, but you managed to remain somehow. I even presented two more opportunities for you to leave with no harm done, but you rejected. I hope you know that you are not standing up for a noble cause, but if you want to stay for that whore and your bastard child, so be it. Just keep in mind that I will make sure that all of you suffer. Even if I should die before all three of you, my spirit will return to torture you, in any and all forms. If you should get a hangnail, it is because of me; if you acquire a fatal wound, I am behind it; even if you try to escape my rage by taking your own life, I will be the knife, noose, or soldier to which you surrender. The wrath of Zhuge Liang is obviously something that is to be feared. You all have provoked me, and now it is my turn to make you suffer. From here on in, I will make you wish that you had left Shu when you had the chance or died instead. I will torment you until your dying breath, and even that will be as painful as possible."

Without delay, I began to convulse. From what I had heard, seizures normally took place while the one who was seizing fell unconscious. My case was different. I was constantly teetering on the brink between alertness and insensibility. When I was cognizant, I could feel my body shaking and could do nothing as my body uncontrollably jerked. I could feel Guan Yu tightening his grip on my shoulders, anchoring the chair and myself. I felt my saliva becoming foam and slowly seeping out of my mouth. But, in between all of this, I would slip into an inert state. While I was there, Zhuge Liang would transmit horrible images to my mind, showing the bleak future to me, I suppose. I recall seeing the various scenes of the torture and murder of Yue Ying, our child, and myself. None of the images were anything that I would like to see again, but seeing our child being raped, tortured, and killed was especially disturbing.

Any enemy of Zhuge Liang knew that he could make them suffer. If Zhou Yu were still living, he could testify to that. I had coped with this fact long ago. From the moment I became a part of Shu, he had made my life a living Hell and I knew that he was going to make my pain worse from that moment and beyond. Yue Ying knew the same. We were aware of the repercussions of our actions, and ready to bear anything that he chose to punish us with. However, our child had done nothing to him, so why involve an innocent party, the fruit of my loins?

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Eventually, Zhuge Liang released his hold on me and allowed me to slip into complete unconsciousness, image-free. Sometime later, I regained consciousness and found myself slumped in a corner of one of the castle's many hallways. My joints were still stiff from the seizure, so I was not successful in my attempt to get up; my movement was limited to clenching my fists. However, when I tried to clench my left fist I found that some sort of obstruction was preventing me from closing it fully. After my nightmarish evening, I figured that whatever was in my hand was a horrific parting gift from Zhuge Liang. He had always been an incredibly vengeful person and he was obviously not done with me yet. I would not have been surprised if the object turned out to be a severed piece of Yue Ying or a knife, stained with his own blood, which he would use to accuse me of attempting to murder him. Thankfully, my thoughts did not become more than just that.

When I finally looked at the palm of my hand, I discovered a moderately sized piece of gold plaster with black stripes on it. Despite what I had just been through, I could not help but feel the slightest sense of joy at being allowed to hold onto a very small part of a cherished memory. Also, I felt that the piece was perhaps big enough to use as a guide if I were to have a new mask constructed. For a moment, I felt as though all hope was not lost. However, this surprise let me know that Zhuge Liang was not the one that left it.

Sometimes I like to think that Guan Yu is an individual that possesses absolutely no individuality. His fervor on the battlefield used to astonish me; I had always thought that he fought that hard because he, like myself and others that I knew of, wished to see Liu Bei achieve his goal of unifying China. But after his display that night, I saw that he really was no "God of War"; he was merely an incredibly strong drone that obeyed anyone that held a higher position than him. When Liu Bei told us what he desired, Guan Yu fought to satisfy him. Now as Zhuge Liang asked that he lend his strength to him, Yu complied because it was the only thing he knew how to do and, quite possibly, because he feared Liang's wrath – a thing that I was beginning to dread myself. Returning a part of the mask was probably an attempt at apologizing to me for participating in my torture. It was a weak attempt, but I was touched that he even felt a tinge of remorse and I wished that I could forgive him.

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As I sat in the hallway, I quickly discovered that my idle mind created thoughts that eventually led me to thoughts of the events that had brought me here, all of which cast me deeper into despair. Thinking hurt too much, but I was bored to tears with nothing and no one to occupy me, so I tried an unconventional way of keeping myself busy while also staying away from thoughts of my situation: I concentrated on not thinking. Believe it or not, but it was much harder than it sounds. I tried keeping my mind devoid of all thoughts, but I found it to be impossible. Nevertheless, I kept at it for a bit, but effort seemed to be futile. Soon, thinking was hurting me physically rather than mentally. This evening had been taxing and exhausted my mind and body, and I was certainly not helping my condition. Then, less than an hour after I had awakened, I was back where Zhuge Liang and Guan Yu had left me: Asleep in a deserted hallway with a piece of plaster in my hand.

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I felt considerably better after waking the second time; my muscles ached less and my mind did not feel quite as muddled as it had before. I now felt well enough to stand. Using the banister of a nearby flight of steps for support, I slowly hoisted myself into a standing position. Once I got used to the new stance, I noticed that my back and neck were sore (probably more from sleeping in an uncomfortable position for an extended period of time rather than the seizure). When I was confident enough to stand without the aid of the banister, I stretched to loosen the remaining kinks in my joints. Then, on a whim, I decided that I had seen enough of this passageway for one evening and began my journey to my quarters.

The area in which I resided was in one of the lower levels of the castle and the only possible route was a long series of stairways, so I headed for the stairs that connected to the handrail onto which I had held. I was a little unstable as I walked, however I felt that the stairs would not create a serious problem for me, so I continued. When I finally reached the steps, I plunged my feet into the seemingly endless marble-covered abyss and began to descend. My progress was superb and my self-confidence grew as the number of steps lessened. I felt comfortable enough to quicken my pace…several times. I was practically running down the steps when I realized what I was doing. I could not slow down, and I did not want to. For those brief moments, nothing at all mattered; my only concern was my descent. I was suddenly happy, despite all that was going on, because I realized that this simple act of running down the stairs had been and would probably always be the one time in my life when I could act freely without repercussions. Doing as I pleased during training or in battle without having someone above me allow it always resulted in punishment, even if it had become less severe as I climbed the ranks; when it came to following my heart, I had already managed to put innocent lives in danger as well as my career, and pursuing Liu Bei would mean definite termination of my job and our friendship – though I doubt he would have accepted my advances in the first place. But, what was so wrong with running down stairs? I saw countless children run up and down these exact stairs daily and I watched soldiers and the like look on in amusement. Of course, they would probably give me strange looks and whisper things about my mental state behind my back, but they could not reprimand at me. My job was in no danger and neither was my reputation or my heart; I was safe.

I became intoxicated by the simple sensation of the self-created breeze rushing across my face and through my untamed mane, along with the way my body bobbed up and down with each passing step. I had never really looked at the stairs before, despite using them nearly every day. I wanted to see exactly what was enabling me to feel so liberated, so I looked down. Underneath my monstrous feet, I saw that the steps were crafted out of the finest marble. They were cream-colored, with vein-like crimson lines running throughout them. I began to envision myself running down a slope of milk as opposed to these stones. Unfortunately, I had never been good at multi-tasking. The moment that I saw the milk stairway in my mind, I lost my footing and began to tumble down the steps. I then realized that every one of my actions would come with a harsh consequence, no matter how wonderful the initial act had been. I felt that I would never be granted a moment of true happiness and I became utterly depressed as I plummeted. I vowed never to run down any flight of stairs again.

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I had not known that I had been dreaming until I opened my eyes and saw that I was not lying at the bottom of a set of steps, rather I was still in the same corner of the same hallway (which made sense since I could not recall this castle ever having that many stairs, especially in not on one flight. Also, the stairs were covered in red carpet, not marble).

When I got myself together, I realized that Liu Bei was standing nearby, laughing uncontrollably. I knew that I was the source of his laughter, but I did not see what was so hilarious about a man sleeping in a public area. Perhaps he thought that I had become too drunk to function at the party and passed out in the first convenient location that I could find, and that tickled him for some reason. Of course, there was always the possibility that he found a maskless Wei Yan to be amusing. Maybe Zhuge Liang had been right…

Liu Bei's laughter subsided and he noticed that I was fully awake and staring right at him. He approached me as he said, "I'm sorry, Yan. You were twitching in your sleep and I couldn't help laughing; I didn't mean to wake you." He knelt in front of me and extended his hand. I assumed that it was an offer to help me stand, which I appreciated because I knew that I would need assistance. Without thinking, I held my left hand out for him to grab. I had forgotten about the piece of the mask in my hand until it fell onto the floor with a resounding clunk. This was an awkward situation, and I was unsure of what to do, so I just watched him. At first, Liu Bei looked at it curiously, trying to figure out what it was. I said nothing as he picked it up for further inspection. Though the piece was considerably smaller than the actual mask, I felt that what it was should be rather obvious, especially since the painted side was facing him. He held it closely to his face, turning it this way and that to get a better idea of what it might be.

As he continued to study it, I braced myself for whatever his response to it would be. Minutes passed before he gasped quietly. I turned away from him, not wanting to see the look in his eyes, and he countered by placing the piece in my field of vision. Finally, I looked at him. I nearly collapsed under the intensity of his gaze.

"Wei Yan," he murmured, "What happened?"

In my mind, it was troubling that after coming across a maskless Wei Yan with a swollen, perhaps bruised cheek, disheveled hair, and limbs that had obviously been under some sort of strain, it had taken a broken mask to notice that something in my evening had gone awry.

Still, I found that I could not answer him. I knew precisely what had happened, but I could not find the strength to reply. I was disappointed in myself because I had wanted to confide in someone, but was unable to find someone who could be trustworthy and understanding to my plight; Yue Ying had been the only one that I could speak to freely. Now that she was gone and I now knew that I could not trust Guan Yu, I did not have anyone to go to. But now the opportunity was presenting itself and my tongue was frozen.

I wanted so badly to tell Liu Bei about so many things: All of the challenges that I had had to overcome in order to gain Shu's trust, of my brief love affair, of the child that Yue Ying and I were expecting, of the insanity that his top strategist possessed…of the way I adored him. My mouth suddenly opened in response to the sudden surge of things that I wanted to say. I looked into Liu Bei's brown eyes and saw the concern, confusion, and hurt and I was dumbfounded. I felt a rumble in my throat and I knew that I was so close to heaving an enormous emotional burden off of my back. However, it was at that exact moment that he placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed empathetically. I could feel the consideration in his grip and it all became too overwhelming. Instead of the confessions of a man scorned, the only things that I became capable of emitting were pitiful sobs.

I felt as though Liu Bei had lost all respect for me in those few moments. There were times when he had watched me slaughter throngs of men in battle, and now he had to look on silently as I cried, awkwardly patting my shoulder. I had thought that I must have looked as though I was becoming "soft" and that Liu Bei would have me driven out of the city as soon as I dried my eyes. The thought of being banished caused my weeping to become more intense as I realized that I would have absolutely nothing to live for if that were to happen. I felt so weak.

As I continued to cry, I became angry with Liu Bei for letting me do so. It had to have been apparent that this was an embarrassing ordeal for me, yet he continued to let me shed tears as if I were a woman. I wanted him to do something then – anything to help me calm down. After an evening such as the one in particular, he could have done whatever he pleased. I was hoping that he would become aggressive, perhaps strike me or yell at me. Being angry with him seemed better than crying in a fit of hysteria; I just needed him to initiate it.

Finally, I felt his grip on my shoulder tighten. I was expecting a swift slap across the cheek, just as Zhuge Liang had given me, or something to that effect. Due to the hot tears spilling freely out of my eyes, I could not see what with which he was preparing to stifle me, but I knew it was going to be full of force so I braced myself.

Imagine my surprise when I felt a pair of lips pressed against my own.


End file.
